Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Bathroom singers like me have a very leading edge over all the full time singers in that we never have to be conscious of our ragas or talam, and we could sing in any language, any song with no regards at all to the meaning or the tune. But once in a while some of the songs defy known norms and pass on to the realm of "Unbelievable", where the lyrics are so ridiculous that no one would actually believe that these songs exist.
Priya, who is very tolerant of the tortured noises emanating from the bathroom is one soul who'd believe almost every thing I sing, real or made up. But even she has limits and here are a list of 3 songs that have defied even her. And the irony is, even when she couldnt see through the many impromptu songs that I made up, the ones she suspected were all real movie songs -

1. Dishum Dishum Dishum - Before we were married, and were working, she'd once in a while narrate a long malayalam movie story and ask me which movie it is from. Her whole family would have watched the movie on a sunday on TV, but since none of them can read malayalam she wouldnt know the name. But CID Moosa, she knew. Mention the movie name and she would start giggling. It was (is) one of her all time favorite movies, for reasons I really cannot comprehend. And so when I ask her how she likes the "Dishum dishum dishum" song, she gives me a blank stare and tells me not to bluff. I tell her that the movie actually has a song where the chorus goes "Dishum dishum dishum, Dishum dishum dishum". She tells me she has seen the movie a lot of times and even by CID Moosa's utter silly standards, this is a bit too much. So I tell her that I'd call her when the song comes on cable next. I do. But by the time she switches on the TV and gets there, the song is done. We miss again and again. Then one day, finally, she gets to hear that and she is surprised and dumbfounded.

2. Maathaadu Saaku Mouna pisaaku - You pick up some rare gems in Bangalore Auto rickshaws. This song being one. The Auto drivers overcharge like there's no tomorrow. And if you start in Hindi or English they instantly recognize you for what you are. An overpaid IT employee. And charge you like that too. Start in Tamil, and you never know which way it goes. If the autodriver is not a hardcore Kannadiga who doesnt mind Kaveri politics, you might do ok. Else, well...
But start in Kannada and I have always had positive results. There was this time when I had only told him where to go and had asked the rate in Kannada and he started this long monologue that included traffic woes and politics and movies and inflation and what not, of which, well I understood traffic and Kumaraswamy and Puneet Rajkumar and rupees. But then, he charged only the meter fare, even though it was nearing midnight. Oh, I digress. Well, the song. I had heard this one in an auto, and once when we were having lunch in the cafteria, I "recited" (sang might be too strong a word, given my capabilities) the first 2 lines and the future wife gave me a sarcastic look. I had invaded her territory.

"There is no song like that!!".

"Of Course there is. I heard it the other day."

"No no. I wont believe that."

"Well, you better..."

Now since this was before youtube had become a comprehensive registry of all the songs in all the languages ever. So I couldnt get her to believe me. It had to wait. But eventually, it didake it to the tube and well, she had to believe.

Even I didnt (and dont) know the song past the first 2 lines, and it is kind of an atrocious song for me to want to follow in whole.

3. Coming Coming Coming Coming Aayi Hoon Main - It must be the way I sang this (though I tried my best to stick to the tune) that she outrightly said "No Way!!". This is the most recent one, from last week. Now things are at a point where after a song with some of the most meningless lyrics, I jokingly ask her if she's heard it before, and she almost always has. But this one, no. And now technology being on the tips of our fingers, I pulled up the tube immediately, but surprise, I couldnt find it there. Eh?? But Sri Google (like Sri Krishna - now g is omnipresent and omnipotent - stale one, I know) knew about it, and then 5 minutes after she had questioned the existence of the song, it played loud and clear. Coming Coming Coming Aayi Hoon Main...Aapne jo pukaaraa.

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